My Beginning

You know, I can sit back and replay things in my mind over and over. But there are some things that stay vivid in my memory, and every time I think about it, it becomes so real, as if I was still there.

I'm talking about the time I walked into a waiting room, a long fluffy robe around my shoulders, tied comfortably around my waist. I sat down in a very crowded area, not many vacant chairs left. As I looked around, I saw women, young and old. I looked for a magazine on the table. I can't even remember what I was reading, but as I was thumbing through, I looked over the magazine to catch some of the women seated around me. No one spoke, it was so quiet. I wondered if they felt the same way I did. Confused, scared, or anxious?

You see, 3 days before, I left my doctors office, told that there was a small lump on my right breast, and also adding she believed it was not a cyst. It didn't sound good, and yes, I was afraid. When I left the doctors that day, of course, everything runs through your mind, usually the worst of things being first. What was I going to do? Well first thing was to schedule a mammogram/ultrasound. I called and was able to get in right away. Thank God for that.

So there I was, sitting in this waiting area. Looking at so many women, some of them, maybe facing the same thing I was, uncertainty of what the future may hold. Ironically, though I couldn't remember the magazine I was reading, the contents were almost all discussing women and health issues, such as breast cancer. It figures, huh? One by one, each woman was called by the nurse. Finally, my turn.

My tests went fine, the ultrasound did reveal a small solid lump. They said they needed to do a biopsy. They said it was routine for all that are not cysts. They said there was nothing to be worried about. They can SAY all they want, but in my heart, which was beating fast and heavy, I had such a doubt and fear that would not go away. The next step, I needed to see a surgeon. I frantically called upon leaving the hospital that day. First they said I would have to wait for over 2 weeks! Are they crazy?? I silently prayed as she put me on hold, and when she came back, I was told they had an opening in just 2 days! Praise God! I snatched that appointment faster than you could blink.

Flash forward 2 days, I'm waiting for the surgeon. It was taking so long, as she had so many patients that day. I didn't care. I was so thankful to get in so soon. Finally, she came in, examined me, talked to me. She then was confused, because a biopsy should never have been scheduled for first time patients in her office. But because I waited so long, she did another ultrasound, spoke with her staff, and said since I was there for a biopsy, asked would I be okay if she removed it completely. I was so extremely happy! God is so good. So about an hour later, a small outpatient surgery was completed, and the lump was removed. The surgeon told me she was 95% sure it was a fibroid, a benign tumor which poses no health threats or problems. Hallelujia! She did tell me it was being sent to the lab for tests, and I was to see her in a week for the final results. There was still the 5% chance that it could come back as cancer. I was resting in the fact that those chances are better than most, and I wasn't going to let that worry me for a week until I found out. I went home, a bit sore, and rested that night. Rested better than I had since this whole thing began. Yeah, I still had to go back for the final results, but in the meantime, I rested, and boy did it feel good.